Everybody's talking about money these days: House prices are
going down; more families are facing foreclosure on their
mortgages; gas prices, energy prices, and grocery bills are all
going up - and uncertainty over when things will take a turn for
the better is making everyone tighten their belts.
But how do parents explain this to their fashion-conscious
middle-school kids? How about teens with dreams of out-of-state
college or a new car?
What to Say
Be honest with your children - but don't tell them more than
they need to know. Avoid overloading older kids with too many
details or worries that might scare them. Stick to brief
explanations and be clear about changes made to the family
budget.
Even young kids are brand- and consumer-aware these days, so
don't expect them to volunteer to scale back on their treats or
activities right away. But if you want to encourage budgeting
behavior, offer incentives to get kids on board.
Knowing what you want to say, what changes will be made - and
how those changes will affect each child - can help make this a
little easier.
Talking to Younger Kids
Ali is 6. Her best friend just got a new doll for her birthday -
the expensive kind that you know you can't afford. Ali starts
to whine, "I never get anything I want. It's not
fair…"
It's hard to keep your cool when you're working hard to
keep the family afloat, or stressed out because the bank has
threatened foreclosure. Take a deep breath and stay calm. If
necessary, tell your child that you'll talk about it later,
then be sure to set aside time to do so.
Remind yourself that it's OK to reject pleas and set
limits. You're not depriving your children - you're
teaching them important lessons about delaying gratification,
earning treats and rewards, and about family finances. After all,
food and rent come before toys.
When you're ready, tell your child that you cannot buy new
toys right now, but perhaps the toys can be put on a wish list for
the next birthday, Christmas, Hanukkah, or other gift-giving
occasion.
If you can afford it, offer a small reward in exchange for good
behavior or keeping the bedroom straight. Short-term rewards, such
as stickers or tokens, can keep younger kids motivated. Financial
incentives can help older kids earn money toward their goals while
teaching them valuable lessons about saving.
Talking to Preteens
Morgan, 11, is going to another birthday party. It's a
sleepover and she's given you a list - birthday gift for her
friend, new pajamas, and a new sleeping bag. She insists her
friends will all laugh at her if she brings the old sleeping bag
again - it's so last year. Her brother Josh wants a new
skateboard and those cool new skate shoes. How do you tell them
that your family can't afford all of these new things without
scaring them?
Kids this age may not be interested in the global economy or why
money is tight, but they can be told that there is a limited amount
of money in the family budget. Do not cave into their every whim,
and instead encourage kids to plan ahead for new purchases.
Preteens are old enough to save money from a weekly allowance or
earn it by doing chores around the house, raking leaves, or
shoveling snow around the neighborhood.
When talking to your kids, let them know that they're not
alone in their desires. Say how you feel when you see something
that you want, but can't purchase it right away. Explain that
everyone in the family has to cut down on spending - including you
- and remind them that, if they're really motivated, there are
ways to earn money and work toward the things they truly want.
Talking to Teenagers
Derek, 16, needs a car to drive to school. Or does he? He may
roll his eyes when you tell him that you walked or rode a bus to
school, but challenging him to find a cost-effective,
environmentally friendly way to get around town may appeal to his
ambition of living a more "green" lifestyle. Likewise,
suggesting that he save up for that big-ticket item - and seeing
his goal through - will help him feel more empowered as he moves
toward adulthood.
Through part-time jobs or regular babysitting, teens can earn
money outside the home and cover many of their own expenses.
Making Rules Stick
Family meetings are a great way to establish these new rules,
even if they're temporary until family finances are in better
shape.
Explain the new rules and also new opportunities for earning
privileges and treats. Make it fun: challenge kids to come up with
family-friendly, cost-effective activities that everyone will
enjoy.
Once you've had "the talk" with your kids, keep a
list posted - perhaps on the refrigerator door - of the new house
rules so that everyone knows what is expected of them.
What Else You Can Do
-
Manage stress levels.
Get support - yours is not the only family going through hard
times. Try joining a support group or other social network in
your area. Support groups are offered through local hospitals,
churches, synagogues, libraries, and schools. If you feel that
stress or anxiety is really starting to take its toll, tell your
doctor, who may be able to put you in touch with counselors or
suggest therapeutic strategies - such as relaxation techniques,
exercise, or yoga - that can help you feel better and learn to
manage your stress.
-
Learn to say "no."
Sometimes parents say "yes" to their kids before
figuring out how they'll afford a new expense. Even if you
agreed to something, you can explain that you made a mistake, and
- in order to be a financially responsible family - everyone must
forego certain treats for a while.
-
Explore fun, low-cost activities.
Challenge your family to create memories without visiting a mall
or a store. Some ideas include: bike riding together, going to a
park, visiting yard sales, free movie nights, concerts, library
events, museums and other local art, cultural, or sporting
events.
-
Get kids involved.
Do kids get an allowance they can save up? Can they earn money or
points toward back-to-school items? Older kids might look into
helping pay for college by saving money or applying for
scholarships, loans, or grants.
Encouraging kids to find creative ways to save or
make money not only helps them feel empowered - it helps them
feel like they're doing their part to help out.
Reviewed by:
Michelle New, PhD
Date reviewed: September 2008
Note: All information is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice,
diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.
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