Al's friend Rachel invited him to go to the lake for the day
with her family. Rachel thought Al was fun to be around - plus he
was cute. Rachel really hoped he'd say yes.
Al turned Rachel down. He liked Rachel, too, but was
self-conscious about taking off his T-shirt. He worried that her
family and others at the lake would see what he saw when he looked
in the mirror - a scrawny excuse for a man. Al hadn't gone to
the pool in more than a year because he was so self-conscious about
his appearance.
The Truth About Guys
Many people think of guys as being carefree when it comes to
their appearance. But the reality is that a lot of guys spend
plenty of time in front of the mirror. It's a fact - some guys
care just as much as girls do about their appearance.
You may hear a lot about being a tough guy, but how often do you
hear that being a guy is tough? Guys might think that they
shouldn't worry about how they look, but body image can be a
real problem for them. Unlike girls, guys are less likely to talk
to friends and relatives about their bodies and how they're
developing. Without support from friends and family, they may
develop a negative self-image. The good news is that self-image and
body image can be changed.
Why Is Body Image Important?
Body image is a person's opinions, thoughts, and feelings
about his or her own body and physical appearance. Having a
positive body image means feeling pretty satisfied with the way you
look, appreciating your body for its capabilities and accepting its
imperfections. Body image is part of someone's total
self-image. So how a guy feels about his body can affect how he
feels about himself. If he gets too focused on not liking the way
he looks, a guy's self-esteem can take a hit and his confidence
can slide. (The same thing can happen to girls, too.)
How Puberty Affects Body Image
Although body image is just one part of our self-image, during
the teen years, and especially during puberty, it can be easy for a
guy's whole self-image to be based on how his body looks.
That's because our bodies are changing so much during this time
that they can become the main focus of our attention.
A change in your body can be tough to deal with emotionally -
mainly because, well, your body is yours and you have become used
to it.
Some guys don't feel comfortable in their changing bodies
and can feel as if they don't know who they are anymore. Being
the only guy whose voice is changing or who's growing body hair
(or the only guy who isn't) can also make some guys feel
self-conscious for a while.
Some guys go into puberty not feeling too satisfied with their
body or appearance to begin with. They may have wrestled with body
image even before puberty started (for example, battles with weight
or dissatisfaction with height). For them, puberty may add to their
insecurities.
It Could Be in Your Genes
It can be tough to balance what you expect to happen to your
body with what actually does happen. Lots of guys can have high
expectations for puberty, thinking they'll develop quickly or
in a certain way.
The best way to approach your own growth and development is to
not assume you'll be a certain way. Look at everyone in your
family - uncles, grandfathers, and even female relatives - to get
an idea of the kinds of options your genes may have in store for
you.
When Everyone Else Seems Bigger
Not everyone's body changes at the same time or even at the
same pace. It can be tough if all of your friends have already
matured physically and are taller and more muscular. Most guys
eventually catch up in terms of growth, although some will always
be taller or more muscular than others - it's in their
genes.
It's natural to observe friends and classmates and notice
the different ways they're growing and developing. Guys often
compare themselves with other guys in certain settings, and one of
the most common is the locker room. Whether at a local gym or
getting ready for a game at school, time in the locker room can be
daunting for any guy.
Try to keep in mind in these situations that you aren't
alone if you feel you don't "measure up." Many guys
feel exactly the same way about their own bodies - even those whose
physiques you envy. Just knowing that almost everyone else will go
through the same thing can make all the difference.
You could try talking to a trusted male adult - maybe a coach, a
doctor, a teacher, or your dad. Chances are they went through
similar experiences and had some of the same feelings and
apprehensions when their bodies were changing.
Picture Perfect?
Guys put enough pressure on themselves, but what about the
pressure society puts on them to be perfect?
It used to be that only girls felt the pressure of
picture-perfect images, but these days the media emphasis on
men's looks creates a sense of pressure for guys, too. And
sometimes (actually many times) that "as advertised" body
is just not attainable. The men you see in those pictures may not
even be real. Magazines and ad agencies often alter photographs of
models, either by airbrushing the facial and muscular features, or
by putting a good-looking face on someone else's buff body.
Building a Better Body Image
So in the face of all the pressure society places on guys - and
guys place on themselves - what can you do to fuel a positive body
image? Here are some ideas:
-
Recognize your strengths.
Different physical attributes and body types are good for
different things - and sometimes the things you did well as a kid
can change during puberty. What does your body do well? Maybe
your speed, flexibility, strength, or coordination leads you to
excel at a certain sport. Or perhaps you have non-sports skills,
like drawing, painting, singing, playing a musical instrument,
writing, or acting. Just exploring talents that you feel good
about can help your self-esteem and how you think of yourself.
-
A good body doesn't always translate into athletic
success.
Too often, the way guys see their body image is closely
associated with their performance on a sports field or in the
gym. The upside to this is that if you're good at a team
sport, you might have a pretty good view of your body. But what
if you don't like team sports or you got cut from a team you
really wanted to make? In these cases, it helps to look at
individual accomplishments.
If you don't like team sports, that's OK. Find another
form of physical activity that gets you going. Depending on your
interests and where you live, that may be mountain biking, rock
climbing, yoga, dancing, or jogging. This will help you stay in
shape and help you to appreciate skills you may not have
realized you had in a team environment.
If you like team sports but didn't make a particular team,
don't let it get you down. Use this as an opportunity to
discover what you're good at, not to lament what you
aren't best at. Maybe try out for another team - so soccer
wasn't for you, but maybe cross-country running will be. Or,
continue to practice the sport you were cut from and try again
next year. The people around you probably won't remember that
you didn't make the team - not being picked is a much bigger
deal to you than it was to them.
-
Look into starting a strength training program.
Exercise can help you look good and feel good about yourself.
Good physiques don't just happen - they take hard work,
regular workouts, and a healthy diet. There's no need to work
out obsessively. A healthy routine can be as simple as exercising
20 minutes to 1 hour three days a week. Another benefit to
working out properly is that it can boost your mood - lifting
weights can lift your spirits.
-
Don't trash your body, respect it!
To help improve your view of your body, take care of it. Smoking
and other things you know to be harmful will take a toll after a
while. Treating yourself well over time results in a healthier,
stronger body - and that contributes to a better body image.
Practicing good grooming habits - regular showering; taking care
of your teeth, hair, and skin; wearing clean clothes, etc. - also
can help you build a positive body image.
-
Be yourself.
Your body is just one part of who you are - along with your
talent for comedy, a quick wit, or all the other things that make
you unique. Your talents, skills, and beliefs are just as much a
part of you as the casing they come in. So try not to let minor
imperfections take over.
While it's important to have a positive body image, getting
too focused on body image and appearance can cause a guy to
overlook the other positive parts of himself. If you're like
most guys who take care of their bodies and wear clothes that look
good, you probably look great to others. You just might not be
aware of that if you're too busy being self-critical.
Reviewed by:
D'Arcy Lyness, PhD
Date reviewed: November 2006
Note: All information is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice,
diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.
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