"The gimmes" are all around us during the holiday
season: "Gimme this," "Gimme that," "I
want this," "I want that." It can be hard for kids -
and parents alike - to look beyond all of the product-driven hoopla
and remember what the holidays are really about.
It's not the gifts but what's behind them that's
important - the spirit of giving. Help your kids learn the fun of
giving, and how rewarding it can be to look for, make, and wrap
something special - or
do
something special - for people they care about and others who are
in need.
Here are five ways to curb materialism in your kids and
reinforce the real reason for the season:
1. Teach Kids to Question Marketing Messages
From the TV commercials during cartoons to the promos on the
backs of cereal boxes, marketing messages target kids of all ages.
And to them, everything looks ideal - like something they simply
have to have. It all sounds so appealing - often, so much better
than it really is.
The ads kids see around the holidays can help foster unrealistic
expectations and lead to disappointment. After imagining their
"wish list" items all around them, it's hard for
reality to measure up when they actually open their gifts.
Of course, it's nearly impossible to eliminate all exposure
to marketing messages. You can certainly turn off the TV or at
least limit your kids' watching time, but they'll still see
and hear ads for the latest gizmos and must-haves.
But what you
can
do is:
- Explain, when your kids ask for products they see advertised,
that commercials and other ads are designed to make people want
things they don't necessarily need. And these ads are often
meant to make us think that these products will make us happier
somehow. Talking to kids about what things are like in reality
can help put things into perspective.
- Ask what they think about the products they see advertised as
you're watching TV, listening to the radio, reading
magazines, or shopping together. Ask thought-provoking questions
such as:
- "Do you think you need that product? If so,
why?"
- "Do you think that product really looks, tastes, or
works the same way as it seems to in the ad?"
- "Do you think that product will make you happy? If so,
why?"
- To limit exposure to TV commercials, the American Academy of
Pediatrics (AAP) recommends:
- having your kids watch public television stations
- taping programs - without the commercials
- buying or renting children's videos or DVDs
Teach your kids that not everything they want can always be
theirs. Also explain that a little "want" here and there
isn't all bad. The key with wanting things is to do it in
moderation and to fully appreciate what you're given. Emphasize
that the holidays are a special time, when a lot of love and
thought is put into gift giving.
2. Focus on Family Traditions
Traditions that focus on family or friends can be a great
way to put meaning back into the holidays. Here are a couple of
ideas:
-
Talk about which family traditions your family loves the
most.
Then figure out how you can put more emphasis on them. If you
love the tradition of lighting the menorah, get together as a
group to make your own candles. If you enjoy the family trip to
pick out a tree, make it an all-day event and head to a tree farm
to choose your own.
-
Find out what the holidays mean to others.
Have your kids talk to a grandparent, parent, uncle, or aunt
about how they spent the holidays growing up. Some holiday
traditions that used to be strong - such as neighborhood caroling
- are all but lost today. Maybe you'd like to revive some of
these as a way to share some holiday spirit with your family,
friends, or community.
-
Build some new traditions.
If you don't have any family traditions, it's never too
late to start. Get together around activities that you all enjoy,
such as cooking or ice-skating. Ask your kids what they would
enjoy doing every year and make an effort to do it. If you
can't all decide on one thing, make traditions out of
several, so that everyone feels like part of the
festivities.
3. Teach Kids to Give of Themselves
Volunteerism, especially around the holidays, offers an ideal
opportunity for families to have fun and feel closer to each other
at the same time.
Community service
helps to drive home the message that giving is much more than
laying down cash for the hot gift of the season or scrambling
around to buy mounds of presents.
Volunteerism can show kids that giving your time, effort, and
kindness is more rewarding than just expecting to receive lots of
presents.
Also, if volunteering begins at an early age, it can become part
of your kids' lives - something they just want to do. It
can teach them:
-
that one person can make a difference.
A wonderful, empowering message for kids is that they
are important enough to have an impact on someone or
something else.
-
the benefit of sacrifice.
By giving up a toy to a less fortunate child, a child learns that
sometimes it's good to sacrifice. Cutting back on recreation
time to help others reinforces that there are important things
other than ourselves and our immediate needs.
-
tolerance.
Working in community service can bring kids and teens in touch
with people of different backgrounds, abilities, ethnicities,
ages, and education and income levels. They'll likely find
that even the most diverse individuals can be united by common
values.
-
to be even more appreciative of what they have.
By helping others who aren't as fortunate, kids can better
see all the remarkable things to be grateful for in their own
lives.
Choose to help an organization or group that fits with your
family's values and the things you believe in. Just a few ways
you can help out in your community and beyond:
-
Sponsor another family in need or purchase some presents
for less fortunate children
through a toy donation program. Let your kids pick out and wrap
the gifts themselves.
-
If your kids love animals, talk to your local animal
shelter.
Many distribute staples like pet food to low-income pet owners
over the holidays and need volunteers to help.
-
Give back to the elderly in your area.
Help out at a nursing home; visit with older people who could use
a little extra joy and company around the holidays; bring gifts
or meals to those who are homebound; or lend a hand to elderly
neighbors with decorating, cooking, or wrapping presents.
-
Volunteer your family's time
by helping out at a children's hospital or homeless shelter
or building or refurbishing housing for people in need.
Community service can teach kids that giving comes in many
forms, not just as presents. Emphasize that giving of their time,
effort, and caring can mean so much more - and last longer -
than any gift that money can buy.
4. Give Gifts With Meaning
Of course, gift giving will always be a large part of the
holiday season. And with good reason - it can teach kids to really
consider what might make others happy and what's important to
people they care about. Watching loved ones' faces as they open
presents that your children put a lot of heart and thought into can
make the holidays more worthwhile for your kids.
But presents don't always have to be purchased in a store.
Teach your kids how to put some real meaning and feelings into
their gifts this year and beyond. Making their own presents can
help show just how much kids care and can make the experience of
giving more rewarding for both kids and their gift recipients.
Here are some ideas to get your family started:
-
Make homemade gifts together.
- Create photo albums, especially small "brag
books" that family members can carry around with them.
Not only does this capture precious memories and show just
how much they mean, making photo album gifts also shows loved
ones that a lot of thought and time was put into their
presents.
- Print out and frame favorite digital photos of friends
and loved ones.
- Create customized stationery for people on your
family's list using your home computer and printer.
- Have your kids create their own customized artwork -
collages, paintings, drawings, etc. - and put them in fun
frames. They can even decorate the frames.
- Create a customized family tree for family members
(something grandparents would especially appreciate).
- Make your own batches of presents, like potpourri or
ornaments, or wrapping paper and customized home decorations
like wreaths.
- Create personalized family videos for long-distance
friends and loved ones.
-
Give philanthropic gifts
.
Many communities hold fairs where you can buy gifts by making a
donation to causes your family and friends care about. Others
offer actual gifts made by people with special needs. Check out
charity organizations' websites for information on donating
money on behalf of others and about gifts whose proceeds go to
the charity itself.
-
Instead of giving gifts of things, teach kids to consider
giving gifts of time.
For example, their grandmother may welcome their help in learning
how to use a computer. Or their little sister may want to learn
how to knit. Have family members create special gift certificates
(i.e., " "two free car washes," "five free
specially prepared meals," "10 free loads of
laundry," etc.). These days, when everyone's so
stretched, a gift of time can be more meaningful than one that
costs big bucks.
5. Be a Good Holiday Role Model
Show your kids that the holidays can be joyous and fulfilling,
not just a stress-ridden time that revolves around marathon
shopping trips. Emphasize early on that it's not about tons of
presents but giving and receiving a few heartfelt gifts.
By starting early with traditions that emphasize the true
meaning of the holidays and the caring thoughts behind gift giving,
you can help to mold your kids' perspectives on the holiday
season and what it means to both give and receive all year
long.
Reviewed by:
Steven Dowshen, MD
Date reviewed: September 2007
Note: All information is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice,
diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.
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