Let's say you're sick of being
bullied
by another kid in your school - and who wouldn't be?
Or maybe the problem is that you're about to go to middle
school and you're nervous about it because you're
struggling in math.
Perhaps you just found out that your parents are getting
divorced
, or your dog just died, and you're so upset that you can't
concentrate on doing your homework. You feel like you need to talk
to someone about everything that's going on. A great person to
share your thoughts and feelings with is your school counselor.
Counselors Help You Cope
Add school counselors to the list of people you can turn to
when you need help. They know how to listen and can help kids with
life's challenges. Counselors have special training in how to
help kids solve problems, make decisions, and stand up for
themselves.
That doesn't mean your counselor will wave a magic wand and
the problem will go away. But it does mean he or she will help you
cope with it. Coping is an important word to know. Sometimes, kids
and grown-ups have difficult problems. Coping means that someone is
trying to handle these problems and make things better.
Your school counselor is available for you and wants to make
your school experience the best it can be. The counselor's job
is to take your problem seriously and help you find a solution. The
counselor also wants to help you learn as much as you can in class,
be a contributing member of the school community, and be a positive
influence on your environment.
If someone was bullying you, for instance, the counselor would
talk to you about it and could give you some ideas and strategies
on how to deal with the bully. The counselor may also talk to the
bully and maybe even to kids who saw what happened. The counselor
might talk with your teacher and your parents about the problem as
well. Though this may feel a little uncomfortable, facing the
problem and trying to correct it is better than living with a bad
situation. Having a counselor's help means you don't have
to face difficult school problems alone.
What Do I Do If I Need the Counselor?
Your school counselor might visit your class or talk at a school
assembly to let you know that he or she is available. Some schools
use their website to explain what the counselor does and how to get
a counseling appointment. It's a good idea to know about the
school counselor, even if you don't need any help right
now.
If you're unsure how to contact the counselor, ask your
teacher, your parent, or one of the people who work in the school
office. If your school has more than one counselor, you might be
assigned to a counselor based on what grade you're in or the
first letter of your last name.
Generally, counselors meet students in:
- a private meeting
- group meetings with kids who are dealing with the same
problem, such as divorce
- classrooms, where the counselor teaches a class on a subject
that affects everyone, such as study skills
What Will the Appointment Be Like?
The most common setting to meet with a counselor is in a private
meeting. The meeting could be just you alone, or other students,
your teacher, or your parent could be there. Counselors typically
have offices where you can sit down and talk.
Don't worry that you need to know exactly what's
bothering you when you talk with the school counselor. You may just
be feeling bad or not doing as well in school as you know you can -
and that's OK. The counselor will try to help you figure out
what's going on. When you do, he or she will have ideas for how
to make things better. Sometimes that means finding other people
(tutors, learning specialists, or
therapists
) who can provide the help you need.
Will the Counselor Keep a Secret?
It's important to know that if you meet with a guidance
counselor, your conversation will be confidential. The counselor
isn't going to go blabbing your personal business around the
school. However, there are some cases when a counselor can't
keep it confidential - if the counselor thinks that you or someone
else is at risk of being harmed. But even then, the counselor would
share that information only with people who need to know.
Won't Kids Think I'm in Trouble?
Your appointment with the counselor could happen during the day
when classmates might notice you're gone. What you choose to
say about it is your decision. You can just say you had an
appointment and leave it at that. You also can say that visiting
the counselor doesn't mean you're in trouble.
If you're worried about what to say, tell your counselor. He
or she can help you practice what you would say if someone asked
about it. If you'd prefer not to miss class time, ask the
counselor if you can talk before school, at recess, during lunch,
study hall, or after school.
Sometimes a counselor might call someone in because they did
something like calling a person a name or deliberating breaking
something. But it's different when you ask to see the counselor
because you want help with a problem. You're not in trouble
just because you need some help.
What Else Do Counselors Do?
In addition to helping kids with problems, guidance counselors
help kids learn about:
- study skills
- the dangers of substance abuse
- careers
- diversity and respect for others
Counselors at some schools also offer programs for parents and
kids or just parents alone. The topic could be helping you graduate
to middle school or helping you stay away from drugs and
alcohol.
A school counselor's job is different from what it was 50
years ago, when a counselor was chiefly concerned with getting
students the classes they needed. Today, counselors are called upon
to help students in a broader way. They help students handle almost
any problem that could get in the way of learning, guide them to
productive futures, and try to create a positive environment for
everyone at school. So if you need a counselor's advice, just
ask!
Reviewed by:
Steven Dowshen, MD
Date reviewed: November 2008
Originally reviewed by:
Chris Cortellessa, M.Ed, NCC
Note: All information is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice,
diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.
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