"Come on! ALL of us are cutting math. Who wants to go take
that quiz? We're going to take a walk and get lunch instead.
Let's go!" says the coolest kid in your class. Do you do
what you
know is right and go to math class, quiz and all? Or do you give in
and go with them?
As you grow older, you'll be faced with some challenging
decisions. Some don't have a clear right or wrong answer - like
should you play soccer or field hockey? Other decisions involve
serious moral questions, like whether to cut class, try
cigarettes
, or lie to your parents.
Making decisions on your own is hard enough, but when other
people get involved and try to pressure you one way or another it
can be even harder. People who are your age, like your classmates,
are called peers. When they try to influence how you act, to get
you to do something, it's called
peer pressure
. It's something everyone has to deal with - even adults.
Let's talk about how to handle it.
Defining Peer Pressure
Peers influence your life, even if you don't realize it,
just by spending time with you. You learn from them, and they learn
from you. It's only human nature to listen to and learn from
other people in your age group.
Peers can have a positive influence on each other. Maybe another
student in your science class taught you an easy way to remember
the planets in the solar system, or someone on the soccer team
taught you a cool trick with the ball. You might admire a friend
who is always a good sport and try to be more like him or her.
Maybe you got others excited about your new favorite book, and now
everyone's reading it. These are examples of how peers
positively influence each other every day.
Sometimes peers influence each other in negative ways. For
example, a few kids in school might try to get you to cut class
with them, your soccer friend might try to convince you to be mean
to another player and never pass her the ball, or a kid in the
neighborhood might want you to
shoplift
with him.
Why Do People Give in to Peer Pressure?
Some kids give in to peer pressure because they want to be
liked, to fit in, or because they worry that other kids may make
fun of them if they don't go along with the group. Others may
go along because they are curious to try something new that others
are doing. The idea that "everyone's doing it" may
influence some kids to leave their better judgment, or their common
sense, behind.
How to Walk Away From Peer Pressure
It is tough to be the only one who says "no" to peer
pressure, but you can do it. Paying attention to your own feelings
and beliefs about what is right and wrong can help you know the
right thing to do. Inner strength and self-confidence can help you
stand firm, walk away, and resist doing something when you know
better.
It can really help to have at least one other peer, or friend,
who is willing to say "no," too. This takes a lot of the
power out of peer pressure and makes it much easier to resist.
It's great to have friends with values similar to yours who
will back you up when you don't want to do something.
You've probably had a parent or teacher advise you to
"choose your friends wisely." Peer pressure is a big
reason why they say this. If you choose friends who don't use
drugs
, cut class, smoke cigarettes, or lie to their parents, then you
probably won't do these things either, even if other kids do.
Try to help a friend who's having trouble resisting peer
pressure. It can be powerful for one kid to join another by simply
saying, "I'm with you - let's go."
Even if you're faced with peer pressure while you're
alone, there are still things you can do. You can simply stay away
from peers who pressure you to do stuff you know is wrong. You can
tell them "no" and walk away. Better yet, find other
friends and classmates to pal around with.
If you continue to face peer pressure and you're finding it
difficult to handle,
talk
to someone you trust. Don't feel guilty if you've made a
mistake or two. Talking to a parent, teacher, or school counselor
can help you feel much better and prepare you for the next time you
face peer pressure.
Powerful, Positive Peer Pressure
Peer pressure is not always a bad thing. For example, positive
peer pressure can be used to pressure
bullies
into acting better toward other kids. If enough kids get together,
peers can pressure each other into doing what's right!
Updated and reviewed by:
Kevin J. Took, MD
Date reviewed: November 2007
Note: All information is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice,
diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.
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