Helping to prepare your teen for life after high school is one
of the most important tasks you'll have as a parent. Although
it can be difficult to imagine your baby as an adult, with the
right approach, helping your teen make the transition into
adulthood can be rewarding.
Going to college, getting a job, or taking time off are the
common choices your teen will likely face. Here's how you can
help your adult-to-be make the best decision.
College or Technical School
Although you may remember starting your own college search in
the fall of your senior year, many teens these days need to get
started earlier because of the extensive research involved and the
deadlines for early admissions programs to more competitive
programs. In fact, many students begin as early as the fall of
their junior year.
A good preparation for your teen is to sit down and start
writing - this is great practice for the application process. Teens
should list their goals as well as their accomplishments, even if
they haven't yet decided on a field of study. Ask your teen to
write down a list of:
- academic and personal strengths and weaknesses
- extracurricular activities
- awards
- grade point average (GPA)
- class rank
- SAT, ACT, or AP scores
Next, teens should think about and list the qualities
they're looking for in a college: do they want to go away to
school, stay close to home, or take online courses, for
example?
Armed with this preliminary information, it's time to begin
the research. Guidebooks, the Internet, and counselors at school
are particularly helpful resources. As your teen chooses potential
schools, start visiting campuses and talking with students who go
there.
Experts suggest narrowing the choices to a diverse mix of about
six to 10 schools where the odds range from low to high for gaining
admission. Applications should be filled out completely and neatly,
including the essay, which your teen should revise until confident
that it's his or her best work. Many schools offer help in
these areas.
And don't cross college off the list because you're
afraid the tuition will be too steep. Many kids can receive
financial help. For info about scholarships and other programs
that may help, ask:
- the school counselor
- the colleges' financial aid offices
- your employer, who might offer scholarship programs
Federal aid programs are also available and can be researched
online.
Job Options
If college isn't an option or your teen needs extra time to
earn money for tuition, going directly into the work force offers
many choices and benefits, such as health insurance and tuition
reimbursement programs.
Entering the military can be an excellent choice for a teen who
feels uncertain about the future. Discipline, earning money, saving
for college, learning a trade - all of this is often possible in
the armed forces. Veterans are also entitled to many benefits both
while in the service and after.
However, your teen should carefully explore all the pros and
cons of a military career. After all, if teens don't like the
service or if the thought of going to war seems too scary, they
can't easily drop out. If your teen wants specific training
through the military, make sure the contract he or she signs
includes that.
Getting a job immediately after high school remains a good
choice. Teens who go this route need to learn how to search
for employment, write a resume, and develop interviewing
skills.
Many companies reimburse their employees for continuing
education in areas related to their employment. Your teen should
ask about this benefit through the human resources departments of
potential employers.
Another option is an internship. Over the course of a year, your
teen could potentially participate in two or three internships to
explore career choices. But most internships are unpaid, so
planning ahead is crucial if your teen needs to save money for
living expenses.
Internships provide participants with the opportunity to learn
about many facets of a particular career. They're also a great
way to make contacts and develop mentoring relationships.
Taking Time Off
For some teens, taking a year off between high school and the
"real world" can be beneficial. This can be a good time
to travel, do community service, or even live in a foreign country
before the responsibilities of life make it harder to do so.
Community service organizations offer a wide variety of choices
that teens can match with their skills and interests.
Americorps, for example, offers hundreds of programs across the
United States with a small stipend, plus a chance to obtain money
for college or vocational training. Many religious organizations
provide community service programs as well.
However, teens should keep in mind that a brochure may look
different from reality, such as with work and service camps in
developing countries. They should expect difficulties but know that
the rewards of community service often outweigh the hardships - and
can actually change the direction of a person's life.
Speaking with previous participants should give a more realistic
view than promotional material.
And taking time off doesn't necessarily put a teen at a
disadvantage for college admission. For many teens - especially
those who choose an internship or international service - it can
actually be an advantage.
While researching colleges, find out if they have delayed
admissions programs. If not, ask the colleges what their stance is
on students who take time off and a teen's chances of getting
in if he or she reapplies.
It's Your Teen's Life
When the subject concerns the future, some teens may try to
shrug it off. Here's how to get the ball rolling and keep
communication flowing:
- Really listen to your teen and resist the temptation to
provide unsolicited advice. If your teen is struggling to make a
decision, a story or two about a tough choice you had to
make could be very reassuring.
- Provide respect and support while giving up some control.
Trying to direct your teen's future probably won't be a
benefit in the long run. This is the time for teens to
develop decision-making and problem-solving skills.
- Prepare your teen to be self-sufficient away from home.
This includes making major decisions regarding dating, drugs,
alcohol, and sex, as well as mastering day-to-day living skills
(cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, paying bills, and
managing a budget).
- Don't be afraid to set limits on how much you can
financially support a teen who decides to take time off. It's
important for teens to learn independence.
Where to Get Help
The Internet is a good starting point for researching
information on your teen's interests. Also enlist the help of
school counselors, who can help steer kids in the right
direction or refer them to other good sources of information.
And don't overlook your local library. In addition to books
and magazine articles on subjects of interest, the librarian can be
a wealth of information.
There are many associations, both local and national, for
thousands of occupations. Find out where they're located and
get information how to pursue particular career paths.
Your teen may also be able to attend meetings or arrange to
interview people at their workplaces to find out more about what
they do. Make use of friends, relatives, or others you know in
different industries. After all, there's often nothing more
flattering than having someone ask about what you do.
Finally, resist the temptation to lecture and try to remain
supportive and enthusiastic, even if your teen keeps
changing his or her mind. Your teen needs your positive
influence during this transitional time.
Reviewed by:
Mary L. Gavin, MD
Date reviewed: September 2007
Note: All information is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice,
diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.
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