If you're pregnant or even planning a pregnancy, you've
probably found an abundance of information about sex before
pregnancy (that is, having sex in order to conceive) and sex after
childbirth (general consensus: expect a less active sex life when
there's a newborn in the house).
But there's less talk about the topic of sex
during
pregnancy, perhaps because of our culture's tendency to
dissociate expectant mothers from sexuality. Like many
parents-to-be, you may have questions about the safety of sex and
what's normal for most couples.
Well, what's normal tends to vary widely, but you can count
on the fact that there
will
be changes in your sex life. Open communication will be the key to
a satisfying and safe sexual relationship during pregnancy.
Is It Safe to Have Sex During Pregnancy?
If you're having a normal pregnancy, sex is considered safe
during all stages of the pregnancy.
So what's a "normal pregnancy"? It's one
that's considered low-risk for complications such as
miscarriage or pre-term labor. Talk to your doctor,
nurse-midwife
, or other pregnancy health care provider if you're uncertain
about whether you fall into this category. (The next section of
this article may help, too.)
Of course, just because sex is safe during pregnancy doesn't
mean you'll necessarily want to have it! Many expectant mothers
find that their desire for sex fluctuates during certain stages in
the pregnancy. Also, many women find that sex becomes uncomfortable
as their bodies get larger.
You and your partner need to keep the lines of communication
open regarding your sexual relationship. Talk about other ways to
satisfy your need for intimacy, such as kissing, caressing, and
holding each other. You also may need to experiment with other
positions for sex to find those that are the most comfortable.
Many women find that they lose their desire and motivation for
sex late in the pregnancy - not only because of their size but also
because they're preoccupied with the impending delivery and the
excitement of becoming a new parent.
When It's Not Safe
There are two types of sexual behavior that
aren't
safe for
any
pregnant woman:
- If you engage in oral sex, your partner should
not
blow air into your vagina. Blowing air can cause an air embolism
(a blockage of a blood vessel by an air bubble), which can be
potentially fatal for mother and child.
- You should
not
have sex with a partner whose sexual history is unknown to you or
who may have a
sexually transmitted disease
, such as
herpes
,
genital warts
,
chlamydia
, or
HIV
. If you become infected, the disease may be transmitted to your
baby, with potentially dangerous consequences.
If your doctor, nurse-midwife, or other pregnancy health care
provider anticipates or detects certain significant complications
with your pregnancy, he or she is likely to advise against sexual
intercourse. The most common risk factors include:
- a history or threat of miscarriage
- a history of
pre-term labor
(you've previously delivered a baby before 37 weeks) or signs
indicating the risk of pre-term labor (such as premature uterine
contractions)
- unexplained vaginal bleeding, discharge, or cramping
- leakage of amniotic fluid (the fluid that surrounds the
baby)
- placenta previa, a condition in which the placenta (the
blood-rich structure that nourishes the baby) is situated down so
low that it covers the cervix (the opening of the uterus)
- incompetent cervix, a condition in which the cervix is
weakened and dilates (opens) prematurely, raising the risk for
miscarriage or premature delivery
-
multiple fetuses
(you're having twins, triplets, etc.)
Common Questions and Concerns
The following are some of the most frequently asked questions
about sex during pregnancy.
Can sex harm my baby?
No, not directly. Your baby is fully protected by the amniotic
sac (a thin-walled bag that holds the fetus and surrounding fluid)
and the strong muscles of the uterus. There's also a thick
mucus plug that seals the cervix and helps guard against infection.
The penis does
not
come into contact with the fetus during sex.
Can intercourse or orgasm cause miscarriage or
contractions?
In cases of normal, low-risk pregnancies, the answer is no. The
contractions that you may feel during and just after orgasm are
entirely different from the contractions associated with labor.
However, you should check with your health care provider to make
sure that your pregnancy falls into the low-risk category. Some
doctors recommend that all women stop having sex during the final
weeks of pregnancy, just as a safety precaution, because semen
contains a chemical that may actually stimulate contractions. Check
with your health care provider to see what he or she thinks is
best.
Is it normal for my sex drive to increase or decrease during
pregnancy?
Actually, both of these possibilities are normal (and so is
everything in between). Many pregnant women find that symptoms such
as fatigue, nausea, breast tenderness, and the increased need to
urinate make sex too bothersome, especially during the first
trimester. Generally, fatigue and nausea subside during the second
trimester, and some women find that their desire for sex increases.
Also, some women find that freedom from worries about
contraception, combined with a renewed sense of closeness with
their partner, makes sex more fulfilling. Desire generally subsides
again during the third trimester as the uterus grows even larger
and the reality of what's about to happen sets in.
Your partner's desire for sex is likely to increase or
decrease as well. Some men feel even closer to their pregnant
partner and enjoy the changes in their bodies. Others may
experience decreased desire because of anxiety about the burdens of
parenthood, or because of concerns about the health of both the
mother and their unborn child.
Your partner may have trouble reconciling your identity as a
sexual partner with your new (and increasingly visible) identity as
an expectant mother. Again, remember that communication with your
partner can be a great help in dealing with these issues.
When to Call Your Doctor
Call your health care provider if you're unsure whether sex
is safe for you. Also, call if you notice any unusual symptoms
after intercourse, such as pain, bleeding, or discharge, or if you
experience contractions that seem to continue after sex.
Remember, "normal" is a relative term when it comes to
sex during pregnancy. You and your partner need to discuss what
feels right for both of you.
Reviewed by:
Elana Pearl Ben-Joseph, MD
Date reviewed: October 2007
Originally reviewed by:
George Macones, MD
Note: All information is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice,
diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.
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