When the Person With Cancer is You
Chances are you know someone who has had cancer, such as an
older relative or someone in a friend's family. But sometimes
cancer affects teens and when the person affected is you, the word
cancer takes on a new meaning - one that can feel personal and
frightening.
If you've been diagnosed with cancer, you should know that
although it's unusual for people to have cancer during their
teenage years, you're certainly not alone. The good news is
that most teens who get cancer survive and return to their everyday
lives. Read on to learn about how to cope if you or someone you
know has cancer.
Learning About Cancer
The word cancer actually refers to many diseases, not one. What
these diseases have in common is that the body's cells (tiny
units that make up all living things) behave abnormally. In someone
who has cancer, cells grow and divide uncontrollably and eventually
form
tumors
.
Many people with cancer (or who know people with cancer) find
that learning more about it is a good way to understand and feel
more in control of their situations. Knowing more about the disease
also allows people to feel knowledgeable enough to ask relevant
questions and take charge of their medical options.
Cancer has its own language, and doctors can sometimes forget
that non-medical people may not understand its terms and phrases.
If there's anything you don't understand, ask for
explanations. Most
doctors
are happy to explain things in a way that makes sense to their
patients. People with cancer usually have a specially trained
medical team working with them to fight the disease. So if a
doctor's not around, an oncology nurse can probably answer any
questions.
Another way to make sense of cancer is to read. You can find
tons of information and resources in public libraries, bookstores,
and on the Internet. Remember, though, that you may come across
information (especially on the Internet) that is incorrect or
outdated. If you find information in your research that is
different from what your doctor is telling you, be sure to ask your
doctor about it.
People who are living with cancer and their families often find
it helpful and comforting to share their experiences and learn what
others have gone through. There are a variety of supportive
environments where people can do this - everything from Internet
chat areas on cancer sites to local support groups where people
meet face to face. Ask your doctor to put you in touch with support
resources for people who are dealing with cancer. Although no two
patients have the exact same cancer experiences, it can sometimes
feel good to know you're not alone.
Taking Care of Yourself Physically
Since you were a little kid, you've probably heard again and
again that
eating right
and
getting rest
are two of the most important things you can do to stay healthy.
For people who've been diagnosed with cancer, getting proper
nutrition and plenty of sleep are good ways to stay as healthy as
possible during treatment.
People who are having
chemotherapy
or
radiation therapy
may need help eating right because the side effects of these
treatments can include loss of appetite and nausea. It may help to
consult with a
dietitian
, a professional who can create a nutrition plan geared to your
specific needs.
Exercise
can also help a person stay healthy during recovery. If you're
being treated for cancer, a doctor can let you know whether you
should exercise, how much, and whether physical therapy might help.
Once you are able to exercise, find out which types will help to
increase your strength and stamina. Even gentle walking can go a
long way to helping people with cancer feel better about
themselves.
Taking Care of Yourself Emotionally
It's natural for people who have learned they have cancer to
feel many emotions. Anger, fear, sadness, and anxiety are common
reactions to having a serious illness.
Feelings and worries can seem overwhelming if they get bottled
up inside. It's important to get help in sorting out your
emotions. Some of the professionals you can talk to are social
workers, clergy, and
psychologists and psychiatrists
. You can also share your feelings with trusted adults, such as
relatives or members of a cancer support group.
It can really help to get to know other teens who have cancer.
You can exchange information and ideas and learn how others your
own age have managed to cope. There are also many medical
organizations devoted to cancer support, and some have websites as
well as toll-free telephone numbers to make it easy to contact
them.
Above all, remember that although you may have cancer, you are a
person first and a patient second. Cancer is not your identity; it
is simply an illness you are trying to overcome.
How Can I Help Someone Who Has Cancer?
If a friend or relative has cancer, the most important thing you
can do is to be yourself! Many people who have cancer say that the
people they love suddenly treat them differently or stay away
completely.
It's natural to feel frightened, anxious, or even angry when
someone you know has cancer, but don't let that keep you from
being there for your friend or loved one. You may need help dealing
with your strong emotions, and there are many places you can turn:
Many hospitals have counseling groups for families and friends of
people with cancer. Or you can talk to an adult whom you trust for
support and reassurance. You can also visit websites related to
cancer. Another way you might help a person with cancer is to
consider
volunteering
at a hospital or clinic that treats people with cancer.
Volunteering is an excellent way to show your support.
If a close friend or family member has cancer, he or she may be
on an emotional roller coaster. Being in the
hospital
or having to stay home a lot to rest can be isolating and cause a
person to feel lonely. Most people with cancer like having their
friends and family around, even if the visits are short and there
may not be much to say. If you're not sure whether to visit,
ask. Even if your schedule is very busy, you can keep in touch in
other ways, like sending cards, talking on the phone, or using
email. It will do a lot to lift the spirits of someone you know who
is dealing with cancer.
Keep in mind that the person you care about is simply sick.
Despite the cancer, he or she is still the same person you've
always known and loved.
Updated and reviewed by:
Steven Dowshen, MD
Date reviewed: May 2007
Originally reviewed by:
Donna Patton, MD
Note: All information is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice,
diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.
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