While my husband is deployed, how can I help my children
cope?
-
Jane
No two children - even within the same family - will react to a
parent's deployment in exactly the same way. There are a few
things, though, that all children seem to benefit from when their
world suddenly changes.
The first is a sense of stability. In the face of big changes,
even small things that stay the same - like a simple bedtime or
mealtime routine - can be extremely reassuring.
The second is an acknowledgment of their feelings - both the
good and the bad. When a parent leaves, kids may experience a whole
range of emotions, from pride to fear to anger. Help yours express
their strongest feelings. Drawing pictures, writing letters, or
keeping a journal are all great ways to do this.
Keep in mind that kids who feel angry usually are upset by the
situation and those perceived as causing it, even though they might
express their anger toward others.
Third, kids need to maintain a bond with the parent who's
away. Whether it's writing letters, looking at pictures and
videos, saying a special prayer, counting down days on a calendar,
finding where mommy or daddy is on a map, or making a scrapbook,
creative ways to stay connected are important.
And finally, children need the remaining parent to stay
emotionally healthy. It's easy to feel exhausted and
overwhelmed when you're handling everything on your own. Offset
those negative feelings by taking good care of yourself and getting
extra support from relatives, friends, and other military families
who've been in your shoes - particularly if you're finding
it hard to give your kids the positive attention they need.
For more information, check out these articles:
When a Parent Goes to War
For Teens: When Loved Ones Go to War
For Kids: Worrying About War
Reviewed by:
W. Douglas Tynan, PhD, and D'Arcy Lyness, PhD
Date reviewed: April 2008
Have a question?
Email us
.
Although we can't reply personally, you may see your
question posted to this page in the future. If you're looking
for medical advice, a diagnosis, or treatment, consult your doctor
or other qualified medical professional. If this is an emergency,
contact emergency services in your area.
Note: All information is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice,
diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.
© 1995-2009 The Nemours Foundation/KidsHealth. All rights reserved.