A boy in my 8-year-old daughter's class has a cleft palate.
I know that he has trouble finding friends because other kids
-
including my daughter
-
are wary of his difference. How can I encourage her to reach
out to him so other kids will too?
-
Jane
This is an excellent opportunity for you to teach your daughter
about accepting others. Kids are often sharp observers of physical
appearances and, like your daughter, many are initially wary of
others with noticeable differences.
Provide basic information about cleft palate so your
daughter will understand it. Emphasize that although some kids may
look different, they are just like other children in many ways.
Keep it as simple and direct as possible, perhaps saying something
like: "Johnny was born with an opening on the roof of his
mouth, called a cleft palate. His doctors are working to make it
better and he sometimes has trouble saying certain
sounds."
Focus on how the boy is just like other kids, perhaps saying
something like, "He's a good reader like you and likes to
play soccer."
Encourage your daughter to talk to him or ask him to play in the
same ways she does with other kids. If she's reluctant to do
this for fear of what her friends think, ask her to consider how
she would feel if others excluded her based on a physical feature
that she couldn't help, like glasses or a birthmark.
Forcing your daughter to develop friendships with specific kids
isn't likely to work. But you can continue to gently encourage
her to reach out to the boy, help her feel more comfortable and
confident interacting with people who are different for any reason,
and teach ways to be more accepting of them.
And don't forget to pay attention to the way
you
treat others with differences, as the example you set will strongly
influence your daughter's behavior.
For more information, check out these articles:
Cleft Lip and Palate
For Kids: Cleft Lip and Cleft Palate
Reviewed by:
Julie Simons, PhD
Date reviewed: May 2007
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