My son has a cleft lip, and other kids have been making fun of
him. How can I help him handle the teasing?
-
John
Most kids experience teasing at some point and it can be very
difficult for them to handle. Kids with a cleft lip or other
physical differences can be easy targets because the differences
are so visible.
But you can help your son by encouraging him to express how he
feels, showing him that you understand, and talking through some
strategies for dealing with it. For example, teach him to be
assertive (but not aggressive) and to use a proud voice to tell the
child who is making fun of him to stop.
Other strategies might include ignoring or walking away, finding
a "safe" person or a friend to be near, or telling a
teacher or another adult. Some kids like to think of short phrases
or jokes to say in response to teasing, but remind your son not
to tease back, fight, or say something hurtful in return,
which can only make the situation worse.
You also can help him become more resilient by offering your
support, and encouraging activities and friendships that develop
his strengths. Get him involved with organized activities - like
music or sports - that he enjoys and where he can thrive.
Many schools now have programs to deal with bullying and promote
positive relationships between kids, so you may want to talk with
school personnel, such as a teacher, guidance counselor, or
principal, about it. For instance, if teasing tends to occur in
specific settings (like at the bus stop or during recess), work
with school personnel to develop solutions.
If you're concerned about ongoing issues or if you notice
sudden changes that concern you (like your son doesn't want to
go to school, seems sad, or seems to have a hard time separating
from you or family members) talk with a counselor or mental health
professional for additional support.
For more information, check out these articles:
Bullying and Your Child
Getting Involved at Your Child's School
For Kids: Dealing With Bullies
Reviewed by:
Julie Simons, PhD
Date reviewed: May 2007
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