Is Your Child Ready?
Whether it's a snow day home from school, an unexpected
business appointment, or a child care arrangement that fell through
at the last minute, situations are likely to arise where you feel
you have little choice but to leave your child home alone.
It's natural to be a bit anxious when you first leave your
child without any supervision. But it doesn't have to be
something for which you and your child feel unprepared. With some
planning - and trial runs where you remain close by - you can
approach the situation with confidence.
Handled well, staying home alone can be a positive experience
for your child, too - one that helps him or her gain a sense of
self-assurance and independence.
It's obvious that a 5-year-old can't go it alone, and that a
16-year-old can probably handle it. But what about those
school-aged kids in the middle? It can be difficult to know when
kids are ready to handle being home alone. Ultimately, it comes
down to your judgment about what your child is ready for.
You'll want to know how your child feels about the prospect,
of course. But often kids insist that they'll be fine long
before you feel comfortable with the idea. And then there are older
kids who seem afraid even when you're pretty confident that
they would be just fine. So how do you know?
In general, it's probably not a good idea to leave a child
younger than 10 years old home alone. Every child is different, but
at that age, most kids don't have the maturity and skills to
respond to an emergency if they're alone.
Other Factors to Consider
Think about the area where you live. Are there neighbors nearby
you know and trust to help your child in case of an emergency? Or
is it mostly strangers? Do you live on a busy street with lots of
traffic? Or is it a quiet area? Is there a lot of crime in your
area?
It's also important to consider how your child handles various
situations. Here are a few questions to think about:
- Does your child show signs of responsibility with things like
homework, household chores, and following directions?
- How does your child handle unexpected situations? How calm
does your child stay when things don't go his or her
way?
- Does your child understand and follow rules?
- Can your child understand and follow safety measures?
- Does your child make good judgments about what kinds of risks
to take?
- Does your child know basic first-aid procedures?
- Does your child follow your instructions about staying away
from strangers?
Make A "Practice Run"
Even if you're confident that your child does well with all of
the above, it's wise to make some practice runs, or home-alone
trials, before the big day. Let your child stay home alone for 30
minutes to an hour while you remain nearby and easily reachable.
When you return, discuss how it went and talk about things that you
might want to change or skills that your child may need to learn
for the next time.
Handling the Unexpected
You can feel more confident about your absence if your child
learns some basic skills that might come in handy during an
emergency. Organizations such as the American Red Cross offer
courses in first aid and cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) in
local places like schools, hospitals, and community centers.
Before you leave your child home alone, be sure he or she can
complete certain tasks and safety precautions, such as:
- knowing when and how to call 911 and what address information
to give the dispatcher
- knowing how to work the home security system, if you have
one, and what to do if the alarm is accidentally set off
- locking and unlocking doors
- working the phone/cell phone (in some areas, you have to dial
1 or the area code to dial out)
- turning lights off and on
- operating the microwave
- knowing what to do if:
- there's a small fire in the kitchen
- the smoke alarm goes off
- there's a tornado or other severe weather
- a stranger comes to the door
- someone calls for a parent who isn't home
- there's a power outage
Discuss Emergency Scenarios
Try to regularly discuss some emergency scenarios - ask what
your child would do if, for example, he or she smelled smoke, a
stranger knocked at the door, or someone called for you while
you're gone.
Before You Leave
Even after you decide that your child is ready to stay home
alone, you're bound to feel a little anxious when the time
comes. But some practical steps taken in advance can make it easier
for you both:
-
Schedule time to get in touch.
Set up a schedule for calling. You might have your child call as
soon as he or she walks in the door (if coming home to an empty
house), or set up a time when you'll call home to check in.
Figure out something that's convenient for both of you. Make
sure your child understands when you'll be able to get in
touch and when you might not be able to answer a call.
-
Set ground rules.
Try to set up some special rules for when you're away and
make sure that your child knows and understands them. Consider
rules about:
- having a friend or friends over while you're not
there
- rooms of the house that are off limits, especially with
friends
- TV time and types of shows
- Internet and computer rules
- kitchen and cooking (you may want to make the oven and
utensils like sharp knives off limits)
- opening the door for strangers
- answering the phone
- getting along with siblings
- not telling anyone he or she is alone
Additional Tips
-
Stock up.
Make sure your house has everyday goods and emergency supplies.
Stock the kitchen with healthy foods your child can eat, and
leave a dose of any medication that your child needs to take. In
addition, leave flashlights in an accessible place in case
there's a power outage. Post important phone numbers - yours
and those of friends, family members, the doctor, police, and
fire department - that your child might need in an emergency.
-
Be sure that you:
- Create a list of friends your child can call or things
your child can do when he or she is lonely.
- Leave a snack or a note so your child knows you're
thinking of him or her.
- Make up a schedule for your child to follow while
you're away.
- Make sure the parental controls and filtering systems, if
you have any, are programmed for the Internet on your
computer and on your television.
-
Childproof your home.
No matter how well your child follows rules, be sure to secure
anything that could be a health or safety risk. Lock them up and
put them in a place where your child cannot get to them or, when
possible, remove them from your home. These items include:
- alcohol
- prescription medications
- over-the-counter medications that could cause problems if
taken in excess: sleeping pills, cough medicine, etc.
- guns (if you do keep one, make sure it is locked up and
leave it unloaded and stored away from ammunition)
- tobacco
- car keys
- lighters and matches
Ready to Go
When you're ready to leave your child home alone for the
first time, there are other things you can do to help both of you
get comfortable with the transition.
You might have an older teen or a friend of the family come over
to stay with your child. Don't call that person a
"babysitter" - tell your child that the person is there
to keep him or her company. You may also want to let your child
invite a trusted friend of the same age to come over, and propose
this as a trial run for later solo stays. Be sure to let the
friend's parents know that you won't be home.
And don't forget that pets can be great company for kids who
are home alone. Many kids feel safer with a pet around - even a
small one, like a hamster, can make them feel like they have a
companion.
So cover your bases and relax. With the right preparation, and
some practice, you and your child will get comfortable with
home-alone days in no time!
Reviewed by:
Kate M. Cronan, MD
Date reviewed: May 2006
Note: All information is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice,
diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.
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