A sense of humor can brighten family life. You can blow
raspberries on a baby's belly, put on a silly hat and chase a
3-year-old, or pretend to fall into a pile of leaves to amuse a
first-grader. As kids grow into preteens and teens, you can share
puns and jokes as their sense of what's funny grows more
sophisticated.
Laughing together is a way to connect, and a good sense of humor
also can make kids smarter, healthier, and better able to cope with
challenges.
We tend to think of humor as part of our genetic makeup, like
blue eyes or big feet. But a sense of humor actually is a learned
quality that can be developed in kids, not something they're
born with.
What's So Funny Anyway?
Humor is what makes something funny; a sense of humor is the
ability to recognize it. Someone with a well-developed sense of
humor has the ability to recognize what's funny in others and
can amuse them as well.
A good sense of humor is a tool that kids can rely on throughout
life to help them:
- see things from many perspectives other than the most
obvious
- be spontaneous
- grasp unconventional ideas or ways of thinking
- see beyond the surface of things
- enjoy and participate in the playful aspects of life
- not take themselves too seriously
Kids with a well-developed sense of humor are happier and more
optimistic, have higher self-esteem, and can handle differences
(their own and others') well. Kids who can appreciate and share
humor are better liked by their peers and more able to handle the
adversities of childhood - from moving to a new town, to teasing,
to torment by playground bullies.
And a good sense of humor doesn't just help kids emotionally
or socially. Research has shown that people who laugh more are
healthier - they're less likely to be depressed and may even
have an increased resistance to illness or physical problems. They
experience less stress; have lower heart rates, pulses, and blood
pressure; and have better digestion. Laughter may even help humans
better endure pain, and studies have shown that it improves our
immune function.
But most of all, a sense of humor is what makes life fun. Few
pleasures rival yukking it up with your kids.
Different Ages - Different Humor
Kids can start developing a sense of humor at a very young age.
But what's funny to a toddler won't be funny to a teen. To
help your kids at each stage of development, it's important to
know what's likely to amuse them.
Babies
Babies don't really understand humor, but they do know when
you're smiling and happy. When you make funny noises or faces
and then laugh or smile, your baby is likely to sense your joy and
imitate you. He or she is also highly responsive to physical
stimuli, like tickling or raspberries.
Sometime between 9 and 15 months, babies know enough about
the world to understand that when mom puts a diaper on her
head or quacks like a duck, she's doing something unexpected -
and that it's funny.
Toddlers
Toddlers appreciate physical humor, especially the kind with an
element of surprise (like peek-a-boo or an unexpected tickle). As
kids develop language skills, they'll find rhymes and nonsense
words funny - and this will continue well into the preschool
years.
And it's around this time that many kids start trying to
make their parents laugh. Your child might deliberately point to
the wrong facial feature when asked "Where's your
nose?" or put on your shoes and clomp around the house.
Preschoolers
A preschooler is more likely to find humor in a picture with
something out of whack (a car with square wheels, a pig wearing
sunglasses) than a joke or pun. Incongruity between pictures and
sounds (a horse that says moo) is also funny for this age group.
And as they become more aware of bodily functions and of what gets
a parent's goat, preschoolers often start delighting in
bathroom humor.
School-age Kids
As kids move into kindergarten and beyond, basic wordplay,
exaggeration, and slapstick will all be increasingly funny. They
may discover the pleasure of telling simple jokes (it's fun to
be the one who knows the punchline!) and will repeat the same jokes
over and over.
Older grade-schoolers have a better grasp of what words mean and
are able to play with them - they like puns, riddles, and other
forms of wordplay. They'll also start making fun of any
deviation from what they perceive as "normal" forms of
behavior or dress, and gross-out jokes related to bodily functions
are a hit too.
But kids this age are also developing more subtle understandings
of humor, including the ability to use wit or sarcasm and to handle
adverse situations using humor.
Humor Basics
It's never too early to start developing a child's sense
of humor. Babies' smiles and laughs are so delightful that we
often do this intuitively - smiling, blowing raspberries, or
tickling them many times a day just to hear a chuckle.
It's important to keep up this encouragement as kids grow.
When you're playful and humorous with your child, delighting in
silliness and laughter, you help him or her develop a playful and
humorous attitude about life.
One of the best ways to do this from the toddler years on is to
spend time every day being receptive to the many opportunities your
child gives you to smile or laugh. Be spontaneous, playful,
and aware of what your child finds funny at different ages. Also be
game enough to laugh so the jokes don't fall flat.
What else can you do to encourage your child's sense of
humor?
Be a humor model.
One of the best things you can do to develop your child's sense
of humor is to use your own. Make jokes. Tell funny stories. Laugh
out loud. Deal lightly with small catastrophes like spilt milk.
Take kids' humor seriously.
Encourage your child's attempts at humor, whether it's
reading (potentially unfunny) jokes from a book or drawing
"funny" pictures of the family dog. Praise your child for
trying to be funny and be open to surprise - the first time your
child makes you laugh is one of life's great pleasures.
Teach kids that adults are funny - and that they can be
too.
Make humor a part of your day-to-day interactions with your kids
and encourage them to share funny observations or reactions, even
when you're around other adults.
Create a humor-rich environment.
Surround your kids with funny books - for toddlers and preschoolers
these include picture books or nonsense rhymes; older kids will
love joke books and comics. Also check out funny TV shows,
movies, and websites for all age groups - help your child make good
choices and then enjoy them too.
Where to Draw the Line
You don't want to rain on their parade, but kids need
boundaries when it comes to humor, just like they do in other
areas. You don't want to encourage mean-spirited or off-color
jokes, so be a good role model and avoid using humor in this way.
If someone tells a hurtful or inappropriate joke, don't laugh.
Take the time to explain to your child why that joke isn't
funny.
You also might want to gently discourage bathroom humor or at
least not participate too heartily. It won't hurt anyone's
feelings but kids may have trouble determining when it's OK to
make such a joke (at home, with family) and when it's not (in
the classroom, at church).
The Family That Laughs Together...
Above all, humor is social. That's why you laugh harder at a
funny movie when you see it in the theater with other people
laughing around you than all alone on your couch.
A key aspect to developing your child's sense of humor is to
take time to have fun as a family. Share jokes, play games, and
watch funny movies together.
You might even adopt your own offbeat family traditions, whether
it's hanging spoons off your noses or wearing matching pajamas.
It will be funny now - and maybe even funnier in years to come,
when you and your kids remember those silly family times.
Reviewed by:
D'Arcy Lyness, PhD
Date reviewed: February 2009
Note: All information is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice,
diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.
© 1995-2009 The Nemours Foundation/KidsHealth. All rights reserved.