Leaving your child at home while you travel may be a frightening
and stressful prospect if you've never done it before - and
even if you have!
But you can prepare your child before you leave so that both of
you can feel more comfortable.
Are Kids Ready?
Kids' readiness to stay at home depends largely on their
age.
Separation anxiety
is common among kids between 6 months and 2 years old. For them,
comfort is vital. Make sure they'll feel comfortable with a
babysitter while you're gone and keep their normal daily
routines going. If possible, it's better for kids at this stage
to stay in their own home while parents are away rather than at
someone else's house.
Preschoolers might not understand why a parent is leaving, may
worry that they've done something wrong to cause it, and may
think that the separation is punishment. So it's important to
assure them that this isn't the case and to explain the reason
for a trip in terms they understand.
Often, preschoolers will react to a parent's departure by
regressing to younger behaviors, such as whining or asking for a
bottle. If your child reacts that way, a reminder from you that the
behavior is not appropriate and won't change your travel plans
can be effective.
School-age kids might more directly show their feelings of
sadness or anger about a parent's departure. Kids ages 6 to 8
may feel comforted by something of yours to keep close while
you're gone.
Older kids may seem extra-moody about a parent's departure
and act angry one moment and clingy the next. So consider
scheduling activities to engage them while you're gone.
It's important to reassure them that you'll miss them, too,
and that you trust that the babysitter will take good care of
them.
If your kids are teenagers, they may not feel like they even
need a babysitter while you are traveling. If you also have younger
children, you can explain that the caregiver is there because of
them and ask your teen to help the babysitter look after the
younger kids while you are gone.
If you have only a teen and are not comfortable with leaving him
or her alone, it is important to convey your concerns and to
explain why you feel more comfortable having someone else in the
house.
If you do decide to leave your teen alone, establish clear rules
for the time that you're away. And it's a good idea to have
a friend or neighbor look in on your child while you're
gone.
Preparing the Caregiver
If possible, try to have the person caring for your child visit
before you leave. This will help your child be more comfortable
with that person and your plans to go away. It's also a chance
to review the house rules, your child's daily routines, and
other important issues with the caregiver.
Things to cover:
- proper use of the car seat
- tips for comforting your child
- babyproofing or childproofing measures that are taken in your
home
- rules your child follows with strangers
- the layout of your house and neighborhood
- what to do in the event of a fire, including information on
where the fire extinguishers and the fire detectors are in the
house
- what to do in the event of a medical emergency, including
where and how to reach you at all times
- a list of important phone numbers (see "Leaving a Paper
Trail" below)
- a record of your child's allergies, medications,
vaccinations, and medical history
- where to find a flashlight and spare batteries
- your travel itinerary, including times when you might be
unreachable
Also consider leaving these with the caregiver:
- library cards
- membership cards for community centers, pools, museums, and
other local attractions
- a calendar of local events
- cash for food and any emergencies
- a full tank of gas in your car (also check the oil and
tires)
- a well-stocked food pantry and refrigerator
- favorite toys, videotapes, and books in plain view
- a new book or toy to help distract or comfort your child
Stocking the Medicine Cabinet
A well-stocked medicine cabinet should have:
- acetaminophen or ibuprofen
- adhesive bandages
- antiseptic
- calamine lotion
- cool-mist vaporizer
- cotton balls/swabs
- insect repellent
- nail clippers
- sterile gauze pads and surgical tape
- sunscreen
- thermometer
- tweezers
If your child takes medication regularly, make sure there's
a sufficient supply and that your caregiver knows how to administer
it.
Leaving a Paper Trail
Besides your itinerary, leave a folder with your child's
medical information and these phone numbers:
- your child's doctor and your local hospital
- police, fire, and ambulance
- your pharmacy
- your dentist
- gas/electric emergency number
- health insurance company
- nearest relative and neighbor
- poison control center
- school/child-care center
Important medical information in the folder should include:
- health insurance cards
- your child's medical record (listing allergies, current
medications, height, weight, age, and vaccination history)
- emergency medical consent forms (from your local hospital),
which will let the caregiver seek medical care for your child
while you're away
While You're Away
Check in with the caregiver regularly, if possible. Think
carefully about how much contact will comfort your child while
you're away. Some kids might need postcards or a daily phone
call or email message, whereas others might get more upset when
they hear a parent's voice.
Review basic details about your travel plans with your kids
before you leave. You can mark your travel dates on a calendar to
help them understand how long you'll be gone or instruct the
caregiver to cross off each day at bedtime.
Be prepared for your child's behavior when you return. Young
kids sometimes feel angry at their parents for leaving and act out
or ignore them when they return.
If this happens, provide your child with the same sort of
reassurance and discipline that you would in any other situation.
Certainly, you should try to hug or kiss your child when you return
but don't push it if your child is still angry.
Reviewed by:
Steven Dowshen, MD
Date reviewed: September 2008
Note: All information is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice,
diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.
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