Team sports can boost kids'
self-esteem
, coordination, and general fitness, and help them learn how to
work with other kids and adults.
But some kids aren't natural athletes and they may tell you
- directly or indirectly - that they just don't like sports.
What then?
Why Some Kids Don't Like Teams
Not every child has to join a team, and with enough other
activities, kids can be fit without them. But try to find out why
your child isn't interested. You might be able to help address
deeper concerns or steer your child toward something else.
Tell your child that you'd like to work on a solution
together. This might mean making changes and sticking with the team
sport or finding a new activity to try.
Here are some reasons why sports might be a turnoff for
kids:
Still Developing Basic Skills
Though many sports programs are available for preschoolers,
it's not until about age 6 or 7 that most kids have the
physical skills, the attention span, and the ability to grasp the
rules needed to play organized sports.
Kids who haven't had much practice in a specific sport might
need time to reliably perform necessary skills such as kicking a
soccer ball on the run or hitting a baseball thrown from the
pitcher's mound. Trying and failing, especially in a game
situation, might frustrate them or make them nervous.
What you can do:
Practice with your child at home. Whether it's shooting
baskets, playing catch, or going for a jog together, you'll
give your child an opportunity to build skills and
fitness
in a safe environment. Your child can try - and,
possibly, fail - new things without the self-consciousness of
being around peers. And you're also getting a good dose of
quality together time.
Coach or League Is Too Competitive
A kid who's already a reluctant athlete might feel
extra-nervous when the coach barks out orders or the league focuses
heavily on winning.
What you can do:
Investigate sports programs before signing your child up for one.
Talk with coaches and other parents about the philosophy. Some
athletic associations, like the YMCA, have noncompetitive leagues.
In some programs, they don't even keep score.
As kids get older, they can handle more competitive aspects such
as keeping score and keeping track of wins and losses for the
season. Some kids may be motivated by competitive play, but most
aren't ready for the increased pressure until they're 11 or
12 years old. Remember that even in more competitive leagues, the
atmosphere should remain positive and
supportive
for all the participants.
Stage Fright
Kids who aren't natural athletes or are a little shy
might be uncomfortable with the pressure of being on a team. More
self-conscious kids also might worry about letting their parents,
coaches, or teammates down. This is especially true if a child is
still working on basic skills and if the league is very
competitive.
What you can do:
Keep your expectations realistic - most kids don't become
Olympic medalists or get sports scholarships. Let your child know
the goal is to be fit and have fun. If the coach or league
doesn't agree, it's probably time to look for something
new.
Still Shopping for a Sport
Some kids haven't found the right sport. Maybe a child who
doesn't have the hand-eye coordination for baseball has the
drive and the build to be a swimmer, a runner, or a cyclist. The
idea of an individual sport also can be more appealing to some kids
who like to go it alone.
What you can do:
Be open to your child's interests in other sports or
activities. That can be tough if, for instance, you just loved
basketball and wanted to continue the legacy. But by exploring
other options, you give your child a chance to get invested in
something he or she truly enjoys.
Other Barriers
Different kids mature at different rates, so expect a wide range
of heights, weights, and athletic abilities among kids of the same
age group. A child who's much bigger or smaller than other kids
of the same age - or less coordinated or not as strong - may feel
self-conscious and uncomfortable competing with them.
Kids also might be afraid of getting injured or worried
that they can't keep up. Kids who are overweight might be
reluctant to participate in a sport, for example, while a child
with asthma might feel more comfortable with sports that require
short outputs of energy, like baseball, football, gymnastics, golf,
and shorter track and field events.
What you can do:
Give some honest thought to your child's strengths, abilities,
and temperament, and find an activity that might be a good match.
Some kids are afraid of the ball, so they don't like softball
or volleyball but may enjoy an activity like running. If your child
is overweight, he or she might lack the endurance to run, but might
enjoy a sport like swimming. A child who's too small for
the basketball team may enjoy gymnastics or wrestling.
Remember that some kids will prefer sports that focus on
individual performance rather than teamwork. The goal is to prevent
your child from feeling frustrated, wanting to quit, and being
turned off from sports and physical activity altogether.
Try to address your child's concerns. By being understanding
and providing a supportive environment, you'll help foster
success in whatever activity your child chooses.
Fitness Outside of Team Sports
Even kids who once said they hated sports might learn to like
team sports as their skills improve or they find the right sport or
a league. But even if team sports never thrill your child,
there's plenty a kid can do to get the recommended 60 minutes
or more of physical activity each day.
Free play can be very important for kids who don't play a
team sport. What's free play? It's the activity kids get
when they're left to their own devices, like shooting hoops,
riding bikes, playing whiffleball, playing tag, jumping rope, or
dancing.
Kids might also enjoy individual sports or other organized
activities that can boost fitness, such as:
- swimming
- horseback riding
- dance classes
- inline skating
- cycling
- cheerleading
- skateboarding
- hiking
- golf
- tennis
- fencing
- gymnastics
- martial arts
- yoga and other fitness classes
- Ultimate Frisbee
- running
Supporting Your Kid's Choices
Even if the going's tough, work with your child to find
something active that he or she likes. Try to remain open-minded.
Maybe your child is interested in an activity that is not offered
at school. If your daughter wants to try flag football or ice
hockey, for example, help her find a local league or talk to school
officials about starting up a new team.
You'll need to be patient if your child has difficulty
choosing and sticking to an activity. It often takes several tries
before kids find one that feels like the right fit. But when
something clicks, you'll be glad you invested the time and
effort. For your child, it's one big step toward developing
active habits that can last a lifetime.
Reviewed by:
Steven Dowshen, MD
Date reviewed: September 2008
Note: All information is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice,
diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.
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