As terrible and frightening as incidents of school violence are,
they are rare. Although it may not seem that way, the rate of crime
involving physical harm has been declining at U.S. schools since
the early 1990s.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
(CDC), fewer than 1% of all homicides among school-age children
happen on school grounds or on the way to and from school. The vast
majority of students will never experience violence at school or in
college.
Still, it's natural for kids and teens - no matter where
they go to school - to worry about whether this type of incident
may someday affect them. How can you help them deal with these
fears? Talking with kids about these tragedies, and what they watch
or hear about them, can put frightening information into
context.
Talking to Your Kids
It's important for kids to feel like they can share their
feelings, and know that their fears and anxieties are
understandable.
Rather than waiting for your child to approach you, consider
starting the conversation. Ask kids what they understand about
these incidents and how they feel about them.
Share your own feelings too - during a tragedy, kids may look to
adults for their reactions. It helps kids to know that they are not
alone in their anxieties. Knowing that their parents have similar
feelings will help kids legitimize their own.
At the same time, kids often need parents to help them feel
safe. It may help to discuss in concrete terms what you have done
and what the school is doing to help protect its students.
What Schools Are Doing
Many schools are taking extra precautions to keep students safe.
Some have focused on keeping weapons out by conducting random
locker and bag checks, limiting entry and exit points at the
school, and keeping the entryways under teacher supervision. Other
schools use metal detectors.
Lessons on conflict resolution have been added to many
schools' courses to help prevent troubled students from
resorting to violence. Peer counseling and active peer programs
help students become more aware of the signs that a fellow student
may be becoming more troubled or violent.
Another thing that helps make schools safer is greater awareness
of problems like bullying and discrimination. Many schools now have
programs to fight these problems, and teachers and administrators
know more about protecting students from violence.
How Kids Perceive the News
Of course, you are not your child's only source of
information about school shootings or other tragic events that
receive media attention. Kids are likely to repeatedly encounter
news stories or graphic images on television, radio, or the
Internet, and such reports can teach them to view the world as a
confusing, threatening, or unfriendly place.
Unlike movies or entertainment programs, news is real. But
depending on a child's age or maturity level, he or she may not
yet understand the distinctions between fact and fantasy. By the
time kids reach 7 or 8, however, what they watch on TV can seem all
too real. For some youngsters, the vividness of a sensational news
story can be internalized and transformed into something that might
happen to them. A child watching a news story about a school
shooting might worry, "Could I be next? Could that happen to
me?" TV has the effect of shrinking the world and bringing it
into our living rooms.
By concentrating on violent stories, TV news can also promote a
"mean-world" syndrome that can give kids a
misrepresentation of what the world and society are actually
like.
Discussing the News
To calm fears about the news, parents should be prepared to
deliver what psychologists call "calm, unequivocal, but
limited information." This means delivering the truth, but in
a way that fits the emotional level of your child. The key is to be
truthful, but not go into more detail than your child is interested
in or can handle.
Although it's true that some things can't be controlled,
parents should still give kids the space to share their fears.
Encourage them to talk openly about what scares them.
Older kids are less likely to accept an explanation at face
value. Their budding skepticism about the news and how it's
produced and sold might mask anxieties they have about the stories
covered. If an older child is bothered about a story, help him or
her cope with these fears. An adult's willingness to listen
will send a powerful message.
Tips for Parents
Keeping an eye on what TV news kids watch can go a long way
toward monitoring the content of what they hear and see about
events like school shootings. Here are some additional tips:
- Recognize that news doesn't have to be driven by
disturbing pictures. Public television programs, newspapers, or
newsmagazines specifically designed for kids can be less
sensational - and less upsetting - ways for them to get
information.
- Discuss current events with your child on a regular basis.
It's important to help kids think through stories they hear
about. Ask questions: What do you think about these events? How
do you think these things happen? Such questions can encourage
conversation about non-news topics as well.
- Put news stories in proper context. Showing that certain
events are isolated or explaining how one event relates to
another helps kids make better sense of what they hear.
- Watch the news with your child to filter stories
together.
- Anticipate when guidance will be necessary and avoid shows
that aren't appropriate for your child's age or level of
development.
- If you're uncomfortable with the content of the news or
it's inappropriate for your child's age, turn it
off.
Reviewed by:
Steven Dowshen, MD
Date reviewed: February 2008
Note: All information is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice,
diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.
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