As much as parents may not like to think about it, the truth is
that many kids and teens try alcohol during their high school and
college years, long before it's legal for them to drink it.
Research has shown that nearly 80% of high school kids have tried
alcohol.
Although experimentation with alcohol may be common among kids,
it's not safe or legal. So it's important to start
discussing alcohol use and abuse with your kids at an early age and
keep talking about it as they grow up.
The Effects of Alcohol Abuse
Alcohol interferes with a person's perception of reality and
ability to make good decisions. This can be particularly hazardous
for kids and teens who have less problem-solving and
decision-making experience.
Short-term effects of drinking include:
- distorted vision, hearing, and coordination
- altered perceptions and emotions
- impaired judgment, which can lead to accidents, drowning, and
other risky behaviors like unsafe sex and drug use
- bad breath
- hangovers
Long-term effects include:
- cirrhosis and cancer of the liver
- loss of appetite
- serious vitamin deficiencies
- stomach ailments
- heart and central nervous system damage
- memory loss
- an increased risk of impotence
- high risk for overdosing
Talking to Kids About Alcohol
Long before your kids are presented with a chance to drink
alcohol, you can increase the chances that they'll just say
"no."
Childhood is a time of learning and discovery, so it's
important to encourage kids to ask questions, even ones that might
be hard to answer. Open, honest,
age-appropriate communication now sets the stage for your kids
to come to you later with other difficult topics or
problems.
Preschoolers
Although 3- and 4-year-olds aren't ready to learn the facts
about alcohol or other drugs, they start to develop the
decision-making and problem-solving skills they will need later on.
You can help them develop those skills in some simple ways.
For instance, let toddlers choose their own clothing
and don't worry if the choices don't match. This lets them
know you think they're capable of making good decisions. Assign
simple tasks and let kids know what a big help they are.
And set a good example of the behavior that you want your kids
to demonstrate. This is especially true in the preschool years when
kids tend to imitate adults' actions as a way of learning. So,
by being active, eating healthy, and drinking responsibly, parents
teach their kids important lessons early on.
Ages 4 to 7
Kids this age still think and learn mostly by experience and
don't have a good understanding of things that will happen in
the future. So keep discussions about alcohol in the present tense
and relate them to things that kids know and understand. For
example, watching TV with your child can provide a chance to talk
about advertising messages. Ask about the ads you see and encourage
kids to ask questions too.
Kids are interested in how their bodies work, so this is a good
time to talk about maintaining good health and avoiding substances
that might harm the body. Talk about how alcohol hurts a
person's ability to see, hear, and walk without tripping;
it alters the way people feel; and it makes it hard to judge things
like whether the water is too deep or if there's a car
coming too close. And it gives people bad breath and a
headache!
Ages 8 to 11
The later elementary school years are a crucial time in which
you can influence your child's decisions about alcohol use.
Kids at this age tend to love to learn facts, especially strange
ones, and are eager to learn how things work and what sources of
information are available to them.
So it's a good time to openly discuss facts about alcohol:
its long- and short-term effects and consequences, its physical
effects, and why it's especially dangerous for growing
bodies.
Kids also can be heavily influenced by friends now. Their
interests may be determined by what their peers think. So teach
your child to say "no" to peer pressure, and discuss the
importance of thinking and acting as an individual.
Casual discussions about alcohol and friends can take place at
the dinner table as part of your normal conversation:
"I've been reading about young kids using alcohol. Do you
ever hear about kids using alcohol or other drugs in your
school?"
Ages 12 to 17
By the teen years, your kids should know the facts about alcohol
and your attitudes and beliefs about substance abuse. So use
this time to reinforce what you've already taught them and
focus on keeping the lines of communication open.
Teens are more likely to engage in risky behaviors, and their
increasing need for independence may make them want to defy their
parents' wishes or instructions. But if you make your teen feel
accepted and respected as an individual, you increase the chances
that your child will try to be open with you.
Kids want to be liked and accepted by their peers, and they need
a certain degree of privacy and trust. Avoid excessive preaching
and threats, and instead, emphasize your love and concern. Even
when they're annoyed by parental interest and questions, teens
still recognize that it comes with the territory.
Teaching Kids to Say "No"
Teach kids a variety of approaches to deal with offers of
alcohol:
- Encourage them to ask questions. If a drink of any
kind is offered, they should ask, "What is
it?" and "Where did you get it?"
- Teach them to say "no, thanks" when the drink
offered is an alcoholic one.
- Remind them to leave any uncomfortable situation. Make
sure they have money for transportation or a phone number
where you or another responsible adult can be reached.
- Teach kids never to accept a ride from someone who has been
drinking. Some parents find that offering to pick up their kids
from an uncomfortable situation - no questions asked - helps
encourage kids to be honest and call when they need help.
Risk Factors
Times of transition, such as the onset of puberty or a
parents' divorce, can lead kids to alcohol use. So teach your
kids that even when life is upsetting or stressful, drinking
alcohol as an escape can make a bad situation much worse.
Kids who have problems with self-control or low self-esteem are
more likely to abuse alcohol. They may not believe that they can
handle their problems and frustrations without using something to
make them feel better.
Kids without a sense of connectedness with their families or who
feel different in some way (appearance, economic circumstances,
etc.) may also be at risk. Those who find it hard to believe in
themselves desperately need the love and support of parents or
other family members.
In fact, not wanting to harm the relationships between
themselves and the adults who care about them is the most common
reason that young people give for not using alcohol and other
drugs.
General Tips
Fortunately, parents can do much to protect their kids from
using and abusing alcohol:
- Be a good role model. Consider how your use of alcohol or
medications may influence your kids. Consider offering only
nonalcoholic beverages at parties and other social events to show
your kids that you don't need to drink to have fun.
- Educate yourself about alcohol so you can be a better
teacher. Read and collect information that you can share with
kids and other parents.
- Try to be conscious of how you can help build your
child's self-esteem. For example, kids are more likely to
feel good about themselves if you emphasize their strengths and
positively reinforce healthy behaviors.
- Teach kids to manage stress in healthy ways, such as by
seeking help from a trusted adult or engaging in a favorite
activity.
Recognizing the Signs
Despite your efforts, your child may still use - and abuse -
alcohol. How can you tell? Here are some common warning signs:
- the odor of alcohol
- sudden change in mood or attitude
- change in attendance or performance at school
- loss of interest in school, sports, or other activities
- discipline problems at school
- withdrawal from family and friends
- secrecy
- association with a new group of friends and reluctance to
introduce them to you
- alcohol disappearing from your home
- depression and developmental difficulties
It's important not to jump to conclusions based on only one
or two signs. Adolescence is a time of change - physically,
socially, emotionally, and intellectually. This can lead to erratic
behavior and mood swings as kids try to cope with all of these
changes.
If your child is using alcohol, there will usually be a cluster
of these signs, like changes in friends, behavior, dress, attitude,
mood, and grades. If you see a number of changes, look for all
explanations by talking to your kids, but don't overlook
substance abuse as a possibility.
Other tips to try:
- Keep tabs on where your kids go.
- Know the parents of your child's friends.
- Always make sure you have a phone number where you can reach
your child.
- Have kids check in regularly when they're away from
home.
- When spending an extended length of time away from you, your
child should check in periodically with a phone call, e-mail, or
visit home.
For teens, especially those old enough to drive, consider
negotiating and signing a behavioral contract. This contract should
spell out the way you expect your child to behave and state the
consequences if your teen drives under the influence. Follow
through and take the keys away, if necessary.
Make part of the deal with your teen that you and the rest
of your family also agree never to drink and drive. Also encourage
responsible behaviors, such as planning for a designated driver or
calling an adult for help rather than driving under the
influence.
It's important to keep communication open and expectations
reasonable. Tying responsible actions to freedoms such as a later
curfew or a driver's license can be a powerful motivator. Teach
your kids that freedom only comes with responsibility - a lesson
that should last a lifetime.
Reviewed by:
Steven Dowshen, MD
Date reviewed: September 2008
Note: All information is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice,
diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.
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